Breast Cancer
I woke up this morning. It was a sunny day. It was a beautiful day. I felt surrounded by the cheering energy of life. My spirit was high. My energy level was high. I felt I am able to fly. Everything looked colorful.
Sad news came up to my door. I have breast cancer. My heart started pounding. I felt it was coming up to my throat. My body shivered. I became covered with cold sweats. I felt loosing my balance. I felt being caught by a strong sense of apprehension. I felt that death wants to have a serious dialogue with me. I felt that death wants to take me to a new place. I have never been there. I am afraid to go there. Death wants to detach me from my family and friends.
I could not believe that this was happening to me. I asked myself why now. I wished I could choose to be poor rather than having cancer. I wished I never immigrated to North America. I wished I stayed in Africa. Africa has the lowest incidence of breast cancer.
I am angry and sad. I feel helpless. My doctor counseled me. I received treatment.
I am incomplete. My chest symmetry is impaired. I have only one breast. My scalp is nude from hair loss. I feel tired. I feel sick to my stomach. I wished I never left Africa.
Death left me alone. Death reminded me of human fragility. Death reminded me to be appreciative of the Greatest Gift of the Creator which is life.
Dr Mohamed Osman,
Physician & Artist
